My testimongy of being a homeless resident at the Salvation Army Sunday, November 3, 2002

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. (Philippians 3-4; 17)

Perplexed!  I have really blown it this time!  Surely, I have not heard from God.  Being evicted for the second time, I have asked Abba Father for forgiveness for not having integrity in my finances.  I'm not a Christian who has it all together and perhaps if you want an opinion from one who does, you should not be reading this article.  

My name is not important.  I am a student who on faith came here to ORU with a little over $500 in my checking account.  I believed that I was coming to learn more about the word of God so that I could be closer to God.  Since my youth, I have had a passion for working with the homeless community and it seems as God has given me a heart of compassion for these people.  My plans were to get a full time job and to pay for school and housing--without taking out any loans and without getting a roommate.  So after the first month and a half without finding a job, I accepted a full-time position at a department store making $6.50 an hour.  Needless to say I did not have enough money to pay the rent and I was always late.  I tried to make partial arrangements but the landlord would not accept them.  So I applied for a loan.  After all, I don't want to be homeless, right!  The conclusion: I was evicted on Sunday, November 3, and my loan check is given to me on Monday, November 04, 2002.

Based on previous teaching, I decided to give an offering, earmarked for homelessness and hunger.  It was enough for a hotel stay of two nights ($100).  At the time, I told God that I was sowing this seed to let Him know that I trusted Him with my situation.  I thought surely that God would make a way and cause the landlord to wait until Monday or Tuesday to receive the payment for rent.  After all I had made a partial payment in "good faith."  Instead, my landlord said that I should have taken out the loan a long time ago and that if I stayed in the apartment I stayed at my own risk.  After I had given my offering, my preached a sermon on Philippians 2:3-4; 17.  His first words can be paraphrased as follows: 'You can't go where God wants to take you and our Church unless you are humble.'   Later on in his sermon, he brought up the concept of a drink offering.  He talked about the historical significance of drink offerings and emphasized that they were usually used to make some else's sacrifice more pleasing to God.   The drink offering was a free will offering that did not require a lot of traditional or cultural procedures.  I failed to realize that my offering would become a drink offering.

 So on Sunday after morning service, I packed my items within my Beetle (shiny and silver) and returned my keys.  The leasing agent asked me for a number where I could be reached.  When I told her that I was going to be homeless, she felt compassion to me and told me to talk to someone at my church.  So I decided to do just that.  I was hoping that someone would offer me a place to stay at their house.  During this entire process I'm asking myself and asking God, what did I do wrong?  Many thoughts came to mind.  For one thing, it was foolish for me to come to Tulsa with only a little over $500 (But I will be a fool for Christ)!  Secondly, I should have done a more detailed analysis of the economic structure of Tulsa.  Then I would have realized that my plans were not feasible at all.  Thirdly, I should have not started school with delinquent debt.  To make a long story short, all of my logical thoughts pointed to the following conclusion:  I should have NEVER come to ORU.  But God told me to come to ORU, with my past integrity problems and with my bad credit. 

Thus,  I talked to the benevolence Pastor at my church.  He asked me if I new about John 3:16 Mission.  After making some phone calls he told me to go to the Salvation Army.  Now keep in mind I had options for temporary housing.  I have a friend who told me that God put it on her heart to give me $50.   So I could have just gone to her house and got the money for a hotel or I could have spent the night at her house and I also have a cousin who would have wired me the money if I had asked.  There were three young ladies at my church who I know on a casual basis who asked me how I was doing.  If I had asked, I'm sure I could have spent the night at their house.  I considered however that I am believing God to start a My Father's House homeless mission in downtown Berkeley California. Moreover, I always have chosen the easy way out!  Perhaps my pastor's sermon encouraged me to seek housing at the Salvation Army.

When I arrived across the street from the Salvation Army, I met two gentlemen.  I could discern that one of them was interested in going out on a date.  I asked him the exact location of the Salvation Army, and he wanted to know what I was going to give to them. Then I informed him that I wasn't going to give anything, but I needed a place to stay, he immediately told me to come stay with him.  He tried really hard to convince me that he was a respectable person.  Then I told him that I believed that I was being led of the Lord.  Then I asked, what's wrong with the Salvation Army?  He told me that I shouldn't be there because it was dirty.

During my intake process, there were two men sleeping on mats in the hallway on the floor.  The intake supervisor said that they needed  to be under 24 hour observation to the bas seizures they experience.  While waiting, one of the guys on the mats came up to me and told me to be careful.  They will try to offer you cigarettes and drugs, I tell them no and that the only thing that I drink is kool-aid…I am telling you this because you look like you don't smoke or drink.  During our conversation, an intoxicated man came to be admitted for residency.   The security officer on duty told him that he would go to jail if he failed the breathe test.  The intoxicated man asked the security officer if he knew what it was like to be homeless.  In response, the security officer said that he would never be homeless because he had three jobs.

Another interaction that I had during the intake process was with my intake supervisor.  I asked her is it possible to get on your feet through the resources at the Salvation Army.  She told me that most people get out of it what they put into it.  There's an Alcoholics Anonymous Program as well as a program that finds the residents jobs.  The intake supervisor affirmed that there is help for those who really want it.

Assuredly, the gentlemen who I had met had incorrect information.  In fact, the women's dormitory was so clean that I could see my face shining on the floors.  And the living area was really nice.  The furniture was new and modern.  I was given a small sheet for a pillow and a sheet and a thin, worn blanket.  The dorm was really cold.  There are twenty two beds in my wing, two individual beds and ten bunk beds.  When I arrive in the living area, there are two women complaining about the lack of respect that they are given as residents.  One of the ladies is upset because she wants to use the phone to get a ride for church.  She says that the staff has let others make phone calls to order drugs.  The other lady complained about not being able to have food (she hid her food in her bed so that she wouldn't be reprimanded).  After a while we all began to watch TV and this was nice.  One of the ladies was upset about the fact that she was missing her TV shows; she confessed that she was "lazy."   

Then I decided to turn in for bed at about 10:30 p.m.   I did not get to sleep until 1:30 a.m.  I began to study the scriptures lesson given by my pastor and realized that I had just given myself as a drink offering to the Lord.  I prayed and walked for a little while because most of the women were sleep.  However, I know that the two women who were up probably would not understand what I was doing, so I prayed and read scriptures for the ladies at the Salvation Army for a few hours on my bed.  I noticed that the majority of the women were very animated in there sleep.  They were moving and talking and getting up constantly to use the restroom; there was no peace in there sleep.  I was given one of the two single beds and I noticed that the lady on the other single bed had been hooked up on some sort of machine.  She seemed to have problems breathing and she was the same lady who wanted to call someone for a ride to church.  I asked her if I could pray for (with) her that God would heal her of the condition that caused her to be on that machine.  She agreed.  After reading a book, she went to sleep; I noticed she did quite a bit of talking in her sleep.  I was really nervous about being there (the women moved around so much in their sleep) and so I kept asking God, am I in your will.  I hope I'm in your will.

Before going to sleep, I was able to finish the book of John.  I started to read this book about a week and a half ago, but it seems as if I could not move past chapter 17.  One key scripture that stood out to me was John 18:11: "Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father had given me, shall I not drink it?"  Now I realized for myself what my pastor taught on humility.  From my experiences, from my pastor's sermon and from this verse, I realize that true humility is accepting God's will for one's life and not fighting against it. 

I'll admit that I should not assume that it was God's will for me to be homeless.  But what is interesting about this entire situation is that if I had not been evicted, I would not have ever voluntarily slept in a homeless shelter.  Coming from a working middle-class family, to suffer such things is unheard of!   If I were to tell my family of my situation, they would command that I come home.  Yet I believe that my offering was well-pleasing to the Lord, as I experienced the manifest presence of the Holy Spirit in an intense comforting way.

One of the intake supervisors came to wake me up so that I could take a shower.  I woke up screaming and speaking in tongues.  I knew at that point that I was not ready to live as a long term resident at the Salvation Army.  When I went to take my shower, I noticed debris from where someone had previously thrown-up.  I decided to clean it before I brushed my teeth.  It smelled really bad.  I also decided that My Father's House will not have bunk beds and that there will definitely be a component of the intake process that addresses loneliness.  Poor families who eat tree bark and meal are wealthier than these women who stay in the clean bunk beds at the Salvation Army.  I believe that one of the reasons why I was so cold because of the lack of relationship I had with the people.  The bunk beds reinforce the notion of the homeless as just numbers.  I encourage all who have estranged loved ones to be concerned about how they are doing.  At the very least, we must pray for their salvation.  I believe that the love of God can destroy the enemy's plans for the lives of many who are homeless. 

I met a twenty year old lady who told me that she was in the shelter because she did not know where her mother was.  After first pushing away my tray of bread, gravy and oatmeal, she eventually warmed up to me and told me that she did not have a high school diploma.  She also said that she wanted to get her diploma and that she did not want to get a GED.  I asked her if she wanted me to pray for (with) her.  She asked me would I do it in front of all of the people.  I let her know that I would be discrete.  We prayed for her salvation, specifically that she would know and understand the work of the cross and that she then know that God would supply all of her needs.  I invited her to attend my church and asked her to see me if she wanted help getting into school.  There was another young man sitting at the table and he was smirking at what was transpiring.  I decreed that he would be a minister of the Gospel in Jesus name. This was a really awesome experience because I could tell that the young lady believed… I also am currently praying for the three children that I saw while in the facility.  Assuredly, the homeless shelter is no place for children.

All in all, the Staff of the Salvation Army is doing the best that it can to support its residents through keeping the facilities clean, adhering to existing rules and even sharing their sense of humor.  But the problem with the whole system of helping the homeless is systematic.  Instead of reconnecting the homeless with family relations, the task of the staff reinforces materialism:  you will be able to function in society if you have basic physical needs met.  However, I realize that love is a basic need and no matter how much material needs are met a person without love is doomed for failure.

In my time, I have heard of humbling experiences, but my day at the Salvation Army is one that I can truly say humbled me.  I found out that the easy way is not always the God way; if we willingly suffer in the flesh for others will we will experience much fruit and be in the will of God.  I believe that when I gave the offering and prayed that God's perfect will be done in my life that it happened--God knew that I needed to learn humility more than I needed a comfortable place to stay.